THIS POST CONTAINS MATURE SUBJECT MATTER. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
Who says the Olympics are all fun and games? The party’s gotta end some time, and perhaps not soon enough for the young, bushy-haired hooligans wreaking havoc on our beautiful city.
Looks can be deceiving.
The merciless civilian justice system handed down the sentence of decapitation to the cake form of Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games mascot, Quatchi.
The tasteless crime?
Public deliciousness. (No appeals were heard - because who could argue?)
Miga, Sumi, and Mukmuk - Quatchi’s closest friends - chose not to attend the event, likely for fear of the same fate.
In a eulogy delivered on the Vancouver 2010 website, Quatchi was portrayed as an adventurous, fun-loving creature who would never have the opportunity to realize his dreams.
Quatchi is a young sasquatch who comes from the mysterious forests of Canada. Quatchi is shy, but loves to explore new places and meet new friends.
The sasquatch is a popular figure in local native legends of the Pacific West Coast. The sasquatch reminds us of the mystery and wonder that exist in the natural world, igniting our imagination about the possibility of undiscovered creatures in the great Canadian wilderness.
Although Quatchi loves all winter sports, he’s especially fond of hockey. He dreams of becoming a world-famous goalie. Because of his large size, he can be a little clumsy. But no one can question his passion. He knows that if he works hard and always does his best, he might one day achieve his dream. Quatchi is always encouraging his friends to join him on journeys across Canada. He is also often recruiting others to play hockey – or at least to take shots at him!
Oh, another life cut short by gluttony…
If deliciousness is wrong, I don't want to be right!
RIP Quatchi. It was nice eating - I mean, meeting - you.
NOTE: Not that anyone was wondering, but no - I cannot take credit for this fabulous creation. (Unfortunately for us all, this is not the latent super talent I’ve been waiting for.) Cake hobbyist extraordinaire / master photographer Alyssa Fahlman is responsible for this Quatchi (cake and pics!), and though she doesn’t yet have her own TLC show, I don’t expect it will be long before she does - if she wants it.
Unless you’ve been living in an igloo somewhere far, far away from Cypress Mountain, you’d have noticed by now how insanely, uncharacteristically, fantastically festive the city of Vancouver has been over the last 13 days of the 2010 Olympic Winter Games.
I dare you to try walking down Robson Street at any hour of the day without feeling like the lone west coast salmon swimming upstream. Vancouver is known for its seafood, after all.
Some revellers might even describe the international sporting shindig as a zoo. And perhaps they’d be right, judging by the photograph below. We snapped this one last Thursday outside the Richmond O Zone after a rockin’ set of classic 90’s hits by Canadian band Our Lady Peace.
Why a zoo? Because animals don’t wear mom jeans, silly!
Obviously.
So whatever animal came to the party in the wrong outfit quickly learned the error of his ways and found redemption in the form of indecent exposure. Isn’t it amazing what a little Heineken can do?
Now, watch as I cleverly sidestep the obvious pants-on-the-ground joke…
I so badly wanted to blog on this topic last week, when I first learned about the latest, greatest, unnecessary invention. But since I planned to make it a doggie shower gift without the recipient - or recipient’s owners, rather - knowing in advance, I had to keep it on the DL. You never know who’s reading.
And how excruciatingly difficult this was!
You may be familiar with my take on the Snuggie (see here and here to catch up) - perhaps even sick of all the Snuggie talk - but hear me out, just this once.
I visited the mall recently to pick up some Vancouver 2010 Olympics gear, so I figured I’d pop into Zellers to check if they had the Snuggie for Dogs in stock (I was told they carried the human variety). The task seemed simple enough.
Until the clueless employee asked me, “What’s that?”
“Duh, it’s a Snuggie but for dogs…” I remarked sarcastically to myself, but clearly this wouldn’t have helped.
So I had to say it. Out loud. To another human being.
“It’s like a big blanket… made of fleece… but with sleeves… and for dogs…”
*awkward, blank stare*
She responded politely enough, but she might as well have had me committed at that point.
I eventually struck gold at good ol’ Canadian Tire, where I learned that the Snuggie for Dogs could be found in - get this! - aisle 61. (61+ aisles?! Canadian Tire = random home gadgets heaven!)
So the lucky puppy got his new, blue blanket with sleeves over the weekend! Hopefully he is enjoying a mind-boggling game of backgammon as we speak…
I wish they made the Snuggie for Dogs in size 10XL (maybe 11). Then I could try it out myself, since I am as yet dogless, and provide a meaningful review. What I know already: the best part - and this is where the human Snuggie is lacking - is that the dog version comes with handy velcro strips in the back so that it doesn’t fall off when one runs around the yard - err, sits at one’s desk. Right.
I’m going to campaign for this improvement in the Snuggie 2.0. “Dear Mr. Snuggie…”
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