Thoughts for Company

In today’s installment of “Is it just me, or…?”…

Because my family now refuses to pay for news, the only papers allowed entry into the house must cost us nothing but our time (which, clearly, has no value at all).

Oh yes, unnamed family members are guilty of visiting the apartment complexes of relatives in other cities solely to catch up on “local” news.  They also stop by any and every street corner newspaper box to “earn” free news in the form of multiple copies of 24 Hours and Metro - multiple copies not because we’re environment-haters but because we can’t share (everyone needs their own sudoku!).

Remotely relevant anecdotes aside, I was flipping through 24 Hours this week when I saw a hot pink ad for a shopping event entitled, Consumers Get Savvy with Smart Shoppers.  Caught my eye obviously, as a (self-proclaimed) savvy consumer and smart shopper. (Ooh, pink!)

I swear this looked hot(ter) pink on paper!

Women are often warned about handbag theft, but - and I know this is a stretch for some of us! - identity theft is really the bigger issue.  With purses growing to backbreaking proportions, it’s increasingly likely that we have some sort of important, identifying document on us at all times.  (Maybe the same goes for guys and their George Costanza-sized wallets.  There’s your daily Seinfeld reference!)

The Better Business Bureau (BBB) and the BC Securities Commission have teamed up with the Smart Cookies to give a one-hour presentation on fraud prevention tomorrow at Metropolis at Metrotown.

Sounds good, right?  Consumers get to meet BBB and crime prevention partners, ask questions, snag a shopping bag with coupons, enter for a chance to win prizes… and get the chance to be victimized?!

The website and ad read, “Bring your old receipts and documents to shred. Public paper shredding is provided during the time of the event.  Shred-it will be providing this service in the Metrotown parking lot.”

If one aim of the event is indeed to dish out tips on what to avoid, here’s one to try: avoid making yourself an easy target!

Essentially, “savvy” event attendees will descend upon the crowded shopping mall parking lot on a rainy Saturday, armed with important documents, like bank statements, credit card bills, payslips in their handbags.  I’m not sure how it’s going to go down, but I imagine they’ll either have to wait to personally use one of the shredders on hand (doubtful), or surrender their identities to… some guy in a uniform.

In other words: Merry Christmas, fraudsters! Enjoy the pond of sitting ducks at Metrotown tomorrow.

Some might say I like to shop.

But shopping will never be the same again, thanks to my latest adventure in online shopping - courtesy of none other than the City of Vancouver.

That’s right - I dropped some dough not on the latest sparkly must-have but on parking violations.  My very first parking ticket.

The two-headed beast. (Image from CVancouver.wordpress.com)

As peeved as I was about the whole situation - arriving at the meter mere minutes after the time had expired, and already the meter maid (or male equivalent) had paid me a visit! - I was informed by my lovely dinner dates about the City’s merciful policy of giving every driver one free pass.

But it turns out that while I was MIA this fall, the folks in charge decided to put the kibosh on its “courtesy cancellation” program for first time offenders.  Probably just in time to cash in on tourists in town for the Olympics, those clever devils!

Which meant that the only way I could weasel my way out of paying the ticket was by going down to City Hall, arranging a court date, and showing up in a few months time before a judge to prove my innocence.  And with no evidence or argument really, except that the alarm on my Blackberry was muffled by both the heavy leather layers of my handbag and the blaring music at the Reef on Commercial Drive, I sucked it up and surfed my way over to the Revenue Services Online Payment System.

After all, I earned that ticket, fair and square.  (And, more importantly, the amount of time I would waste disputing the ticket, not to prove a point or uphold my principles but to save money, would not have been worth it.  Simple cost-benefit analysis.)

I’m happy to report that the fine was surprisingly easy to pay.  I simply entered my ticket number on the site and filled my cart with all the by-law violations my heart desired.  And when I was ready to check out, the little elf on the other end of the transaction kindly warned me that once I went ahead with this cart, I couldn’t go back and re-fill.  Just in case I hadn’t yet made up my mind on how much money I wanted to spend during this particular visit.

So I typed in my credit card info and out popped my receipt!  Not as satisfying as the usual purchase, but at least this one was instant.

After the transaction was complete, I was invited to start a new search.  But I declined.  Maybe next time.  (One shouldn’t be too greedy.)

So in the end, my brilliant idea of parking right in front of the restaurant and frugally putting just enough money in the meter to hold us over, and then returning to the vehicle shortly before the time expired if necessary… well, it ended up being one expensive night out.

Just another way I’m helping to fund the upcoming Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games.  You’re welcome!