Thoughts for Company

I know, I know… I look like I’m barely old enough to be driving, let alone masterminding my defense against wrinkles.  I still get asked when I’ll be graduating from high school, and if I were to frequent night clubs and/or liquor stores, I’d definitely get carded.

But hey, if I can take simple steps now - why not?  I already get my share (and probably yours, too) of fruits, veggies and omega-3s; slather on the SPF every single day (which says a lot, considering Vancouver’s ubiquitous cloud cover); and gag within 100 metres of someone smoking.

And while I may look as though I’d be able to pull consecutive all-nighters, the truth is I sleep like an 90-year-old - minus the dentures floating in the glass on the nightstand next to my bed.

Which I thought was a good thing, until I read that I’ve been getting it wrong all these years!

The American Academy of Dermatology warns against sleeping in any position besides face up.  Sleep on your front, and you’ll get wrinkles permanently etched into your skin, plus a furrowed brow.  Side sleeper?  Sorry, but it’s only a matter of time before the skin on your cheek and chin starts to flop to your favoured side.

Your best bet is to sleep on your back, which I can only assume allows gravity to distribute your sagging skin evenly to both sides, thus making it easier for your plastic surgeon to one day pin those suckers right back without too much help from the yard stick.

So I tried it last night - the on-your-back sleeping, that is.  A very foreign feeling indeed!  I gave it a shot for all of two minutes before giving up.  It just wasn’t comfortable, and something kept telling me I should be counting sheep.  (No one counts sheep in any other position than on one’s back.)  Probably should have chewed up a pacifier while I was at it, too; I’m sure I haven’t slept that way since the good ol’ days of being unable to turn myself over.

Call me a quitter, but I’ve resigned to take whatever consequences result from my bad habits.  I figure I spend about 1/3 of my life getting my beauty sleep (it’s gotta start working some day, right?), so why deprive myself of the pleasure of digging my face into the pillow?

Speaking of which, that ass groove we all wear into the couch after prolonged dates with the TV?  Likely not doing much for the wrinkles on the other cheeks, eh?  Just sayin’…

Sure, I may end up looking like a shar pei (especially after a bowl of blueberries!), but at least I’ll be well-rested.

Care to join? (From Beaut.ie)

Besides, word on the street is that there’s a new product on the market that will take care of this problem…